Another Post about Fashion Show

Singapore Fashion Fest 2007 - Aigner

Current mood:complacent

hello my friends and welcome to the first entry for Singapore Fashion Fest for 2007. Now i know that some of you are already models and have been subjected to the cruelties described herein, but if you are not a model and have not had the pleasure of being ridiculed, poked, stabbed, walked on, laughed at, stuffed into a size 0 outfit, or being called a "ponce" by a clearly flaming 5'2 rotund gay singaporean man who wishes he were a 6'2 anorexic woman - then i'll do my best.

now i've done my share of shows - being in singapore for over 2 years (and indeed, around the world for the rest of my long career) i've done EVERYTHING - and this year i thought would be just as horrible as last years travesty called Fashion Week. so i gracefully BOWED OUT. yes my friends, i took one for the team, i flaked, i simply EXCUSED myself from the whole affair altogether. no going to cattle call castings (these are where the ENTIRETY of southeast asia is invited to come to a massive casting for a fashion show. meaning if i had diegned to attend one, i would have to sit in a roomful of bitching models and guys who say its too hot and swiftly remove their shirts and do a handful of pushups to the delight of the teen models for a quick hook-up.. eeeeyewwww). No walking in high heels that strain by formerly broken ankle (and thus end up with horrible cramps in said foot for a night)
but then the agency calls - as the often do - and says, "Linda, you were requested to do Aigner show. Interested, can?" (can = yes in singlish).

sigh. of course i'll do it. i'm requested, which means i get to skip the casting process altogether and just go straight to a fitting and show.

time for the casting arrives! i go to a warehouse that i'm familiar with, and i try on some amazing clothes from the designer Aigner. very simple, yet futuristic, dark somber colors and the most amazingly high, frilly (yes FRILLY) boots i had ever seen. the first outfit was something actually a bit forgettable, judging by the fact i cannot recall it at this moment. the second was a purple shift dress with a copper jacket. no prob there. the third outfit was passed to me from another model who could not fit in it. well i have news for you - if she ain't gonna fit, chances are I"m not gonna! i was right. i put the pants on... there was no zipper on the side, and we had to pinch it together to see if it would close. let me put it to you this way: it WOULD have closed IF i actually ZIPPED an INCH of my HIP FAT INTO IT!

have you EVER done this? let me tell you, it is painful. when you are backstage, and some eager beaver dresser who has NEVER done a show before (the dresser of choice at sing fashion shows because they don't demand PAYMENT. no one learns this the first time.) zips you into a side zip right on your ribcage and you have NO CHOICE but to UNZIP and try again and NOT BLEED ON the heavily embellished gown???!!! oh... you haven't? oh... gee... let me assure it is not PLEASANT. i'm a bleeder... and a crier too.)

anyhow...
i thank the ladies (they are lovely) and head home, happy that the fitting went reasonably well.

ok SHOW TIME!!!

The aigner show as one of the ones done on opening day. I go to check my clothes (all good trained runway models check their clothes BEFORE the show to make sure that they fit and there is no damage that you can be blamed and docked payment for later...) and there are those damned pants. with a zipper. i start to sweat. i can feel my hip fat start to prick a little with anticipation... i reach for them and put them on.....
THEN.... SNAG!!! THEY DON'T FIT! I CANT' GET THEM OVER MY LOWER THIGHS!!! apparently when a new zip was sewn in, they made the pants SMALLER by 1 inch!!!!! NO WAY could i fit in that!!!

sigh of relief! my hip fat has stopped tingling and relief floods my system. excuse me, Jack (choreographer) these pants don't fit! yay!!!

there was a tiny little size 0 model who was wearing a flaming red gown that was STUNNING, but looked on her like she was little more than a glorified coat hanger. not so nice.

"say, jack... she looks tiny enough for these pants..."

i was just trying to offload the pants, not take over her dress. but instead of me going down a change, i was then given this gorgeous red dress. by the way - she was unhappy with me, but the pants fit her like a glove, and truth be told, they were a little too big for her.

and i get to OPEN the show with this gorgeous red dress!!!

such is the fortune of fashion week. unintentional, and i got rave reviews from the audience. i was happy for that.
wanna see????

click below for your own upload....
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/51584040/?qo=11&q=singapore+fashion+festival+2007&qh=boost%3Apopular+age_sigma%3A24h+age_scale%3A5